She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
