I am spending my child support on dildos
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
