the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
