mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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