so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
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I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
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Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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