I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
