found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You were trust falling into bushes
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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