So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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