Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
