Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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