Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
