I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
