And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
