If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
