At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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