why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
It's just like the Real World with babies
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
