My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
try to milk me bitch
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