You really coming over, don't trick.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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