Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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