cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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