Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
