My room smells like vodka and shame
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
