I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
