paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
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