I showed him my bush... on skype.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
