I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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