When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on