ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I think i peed on brittanys purse
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Found the puke drawer
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls