I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
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What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
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okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.