Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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