At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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