is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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