Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
