She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
