My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
