We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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