got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
