it's too hot outside to masturbate.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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