so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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