he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
