I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
