the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
