left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
