Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
