70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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