community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
