that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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