this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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