margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
