you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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