I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
