Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
She even gives head with a lisp.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
