I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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