Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
whose ass print is on the piano?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
