girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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