is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
