WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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