Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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