At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
