new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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