Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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