im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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