Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Bang-toberfest begins!!
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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